What a long day! Mondays seem to be long days at uni because I start early and end late. I have a lot of things on my mind at the moment.
First, this morning I realized again how grateful I am to never have to deal with strikes like they have to deal with here. This morning it took me way longer than usual to get to the uni and I had to walk awhile of the way because the tram wouldn’t even go near the uni. The strike has been crazier and crazier as time passes. I was surprised to pass a huge bonfire this morning with a bunch of workers just standing around it…and it was a really weird feeling walking down the tramway with tons of other uni students. All of us, trying to find our way to the uni even though we were all extremely late for our courses. Luckily, the teachers are patient and understand it can be quite a journey to get there. My knee started aching pretty bad as I walked and I just kept thinking, if I can tract with worse pain than this, I can definitely get to the uni with the pain now. And I did!
Class was good…about half of the students weren’t able to come! Tomorrow the strike is supposed to get worse and I have been told it may be nearly impossible for me to make it to the uni. It would take ages for me to walk.
As I was walking down the street with all the other uni students feeling somewhat like I should be holding up a protest sign and shouting out my rage against the French Government ( haha not really ), I was listening to my i-pod and some French music and just felt this overwhelming feeling of wow…hil… you are in the middle of strike. This kind of stuff makes history! Then is got me thinking about my history and where I am today…even how much I have improved in my speaking since I arrived! The other students in my class have even commented to me on how much better I speak compared to the first weeks of class. There are soooo many things I still do not know…and things I cannot expect to learn before my time her finishes, but I am grateful for the time I have been able to be here, experience the culture, and learn as much as I can with the language. I am constantly feeling like my best isn’t good enough and that if I could only just be better…but I realize that during the time I am doing my best. I can’t look back now and say I could have, or should have. Instead its best to look forward with new anticipation and hope for something better. The best part about this whole thing is that the only person that I need to work to impress is my Heavenly Father.
I love the quote from Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. “Prayer is a private matter between you and Heavenly Father. Both He and you know when you have done what you can. Do not give a thought as to whether or not your best compares with others. In the eyes of Heavenly Father, that doesn’t matter.”
I can remember sitting on the airplane coming home from my mission and thinking…its over. I have finished the mission I was sent to accomplish. And this thought really hurt me inside because I really loved serving. I had so many things running through my mind about the future and how I was feeling completely unprepared for it, but I also remember feeling really peaceful about the way I served those 18 months of my life. Even though I had many weaknesses, and others probably could have done a way better job than me, Heavenly Father was pleased because I gave him my best.
Now- I feel like I am in a similar situation. I am far from home, dealing with a lot of new things, new challenges, experiencing a new culture and trying to learn a language, and sometimes I feel like others could be doing way better than me, but I don’t need to worry or think this way because Heavenly Father isn’t grading on the curve. He’s just pleased if I do my best. And as long as I know I am giving my best, even if come home and am not the greatest French speaker, its okay, because I did my best, and I can always still work on it. Learning never stops.
I listened to talk by Sheri Dew yesterday and she was talking about how we have to learn the language of the spirit. Learning the language of the Spirit is like learning any language. It takes practice, effort, mistakes, repetition…the list goes on. So if any out there wants to learn a new language but doesn’t know where to start…I think that is a great place to start. I am now working on learning 2 languages. The Spirit, and French. And its not going to matter how many languages we speak if we cannot even recognize and hearken to the voice of the spirit. President Monson has said,
"The sweetest experience I know in life is to feel a prompting and act upon it and later find out that it was the fulfillment of someone's prayer or someone's need. And I always want the Lord to know that if He needs an errand run, Tom Monson will run that errand for Him."
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