Experiences

“L’expérience est le nom, que chaqun donne à ses erreurs”

Sometimes when something really good happens, something follows that tries to make us discouraged or feel inadequate for the task at hand. This morning I had a great experience and then this afternoon I went to commerce to buy some grammar books and also try to find a few good CDs (in French) so that I could surround myself with more than just speaking French , but use music which happens to literally be part of my soul, in order to improve. I didn’t have much luck to be honest! I grabbed stacks of random CDs that looked like they might good, totally tossing aside the well given advice of not judging a book by its cover, and went to the music listening station where I ended up tossing more than just the saying aside. I didn’t realize it would be hard to find something I liked. Back home, I could easily leave a store with 10 CDs if I had the funds to do so.

I searched high and low for some grammar books and a visual dictionary and I even asked 2 workers, but they didn’t really help me. They would only point to the section I needed to look in. And let me tell you, I looked!! There was nothing there. Anyways, I was frustrated after and I left the store feeling pretty low for some reason. I stood at the top of the steps of the building and could see people everywhere eating, laughing, walking hand in hand to the cinema and standing around with shopping bags in their hands. They all looked content in whatever they were doing at the moment. I stood there and the feeling of being alone just completely overwhelmed me. Funny how some of the times I have felt the most alone in my life are the moments when people are surrounding me on every side, music is playing, people are speaking. It should be the opposite, but when don’t have someone to enjoy the sweet little moments in life with it can really be disappointing.

I walked through the city center and stopped to buy some postcards and then walked to this little park where I sat on a wooden park bench under some lush trees that are starting to change colour. Some green, some red. It is still warm here so I don’t even need a jacket. The light was streaming through the trees scattering flecks of light and shadows on my clothes and the postcards I had laid out on my lap. It was warm and I felt so at peace being there, but completely alone at the same time. How can you feel two things so opposite like that at the same time?

The faint smell of cigarette smoke is something I am getting used to. I remember one time my sister Becca and I were walking into a store in Rexburg, Idaho, where we attend university, and we both looked at each other because we saw someone smoking and could smell it. We both laughed because we both expressed the feeling of missing Europe. I think it is something I will always associate with my adventures here.

I used two new grammar concepts I learned this past week in conversations the past few days. Feels really good to know I am improving… slowly, but surely.

Bisous! xx.